Vietnam has begun a crackdown on hamsters, a wildly popular pet in the lunar Year of the Rat, fearing that an influx of the foreign-bred rodent could spread disease and destroy crops. As of Monday 10 March, anyone possessing or trading hamsters faces stiff fines of up to 30 million dong, around £930. The government aims to end a craze for the animals, which were previously imported for scientific research, but which have now spawned online hamster clubs

Bill Rodger, 96, was the oldest groom in Britain when he married his long-term partner Liz Stewart in November last year. He died on March 7, just four months into wedded life. The couple had been in a relationship for 11 years, and Rodger referred to his wife as his ‘twilight sweetheart’. He decided to propose after one his great-grandchildren asked whether Mrs Rodgers was their great-grandmother. ‘That started the bell tinkling’, he said.

From the ground, Wesley Aches retirement home in Alabama looks like any other building. However, from the air, the outline of the building is undeniably clear: it is, simply put, one big swastika.

After numerous complaints, the agency which owns the building now plans to undergo extensive renovations in an attempt to disguise the Nazi symbol. The one story building was designed in 1970s. Millions of dollars were spent recently to hide the offensive shape, but with little effect. It seems that millions more are going to have to be produced to prevent continued allegations that the building houses Nazi-loving elderly Methodists.

Oxfam organised an auction on the website eBay, offering a 20-minute date with the world-famous actress. The UK-based bidder who won the prize, paying £20,000, will be Johansson’s special guest at the world premiere of her next film in July. He will be ferried to the event in a chauffeured limousine, joining the actress on the read carpet.

23-year old Johansson has been an avid supporter of Oxfam for over three years, visiting projects in Sri Lanka and India. The charity has previously raised £4,300 by selling the gown worn by Keira Knightley at the 2006 Oscars ceremony.
A similar approach has been taken by other charities. Most recently, the Terence Higgins Trust, the leading HIV and Aids charity, raised £9,000 auctioning a walk-on part in Little Britain USA. Likewise, two years ago retail tycoon Philip Green paid £60,000 for a kiss from Kate Moss.

Harvey Nichols Food Market, Edinburgh, was home to Scotland’s most expensive Easter Egg – at a cost of £550. The ultimate chocolate treat weighed in at 14lbs and measured 2ft 6ins tall. Nationwide there are five of these eggs on offer, each created by Paris confectioners Maison du Chocolat. A representative at Harvey Nichols said, ‘The egg had only been on show for a matter of hours and we had already received serious interest from numerous shoppers.’

A council has banned helium balloons in case they kill wildlife, in particular turtles. Portsmouth City Council have indulged green campaigners fears that burst balloons can seriously effect turtle, dolphin, and sea bird populations. The latex material can block animals’ guts when swallowed, or the animals can get tangled up in strings or ribbons.

Councillor Jason Fazackarley defended the decision, ‘I am not a killjoy. Balloons may look nice, but once they are released into the atmosphere, whoosh, they are gone. Then they might choke some innocent turtle to death.

Stephen Hawking is to set to add to his CV of cameo appearances in the world of animated television. By day a Cambridge professor, Hawking has ‘played’ himself in The Simpsons, Futurama, and Family Guy.

Now, the Discovery Channel is said to be negotiating with Hawking over a series about his theories on our universe, as first expounded in A Brief History of Time. ‘He would be animated whilst the rest of it is in normal footage’, says a source.

Banks has been an outspoken critic of attempts to restrict drug use. ‘It does look like I’m calling off all the avenues of fun’, he said. ‘Certainly my views on the illegality of drugs haven’t changed in the least. The whole of society and the government keep telling us drugs are bad. If they are so bloody horrible, why do so many people take them?’ Along with drugs, Banks is a huge advocate of booze-culture. He once ran for the rectorship of Edinburgh University on a ‘Drunken Bastard party’ ticket. He came fifth, behind a stuffed toy.

A grinning airline pilot gropes a buxom stewardess’ breast as she performs a strip tease for him in the cockpit, and it was all caught on camera. The pilot was filmed whooping for joy as the stewardess unbuttoned her uniform.

Then he took his hands off his joystick to help unhook her top before carrying out a full inspection in the cockpit.
The girl, in her 20’s and wearing a wedding ring, happily obliged. At one point, she even lifted her skirt to reveal her undergarments.

Their antics were filmed by another member of the crew, and subsequently posted on the internet.

A man in Germany was jailed for five years yesterday after he sat on his wife during a domestic dispute and squashed her so badly that she later died.

The 20-stone man ‘sat on his wife’s chest for at least two minutes and broke her ribs in 18 places’, said a spokesman at the local court.